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The Demonic Dire

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The Demonic Dire Empty The Demonic Dire

Post by TheDastardlyDire July 27th 2016, 5:18 pm

The Demonic Dire
"When you're forced to kill to stay alive, you learn to enjoy it..."

Basic Biography

Real Name: Malik Dire Faulkner
Renegade/Hero/Villain Name: "The Demonic" Dire
Title: King of Murder
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Hair: Black
Eyes: Red [Brown in civy]
Height: 5' 11"
Weight: 157
Blood type: A-

The Looks

Dire has various knives [kunais, combat knives, butterfly knives etc.] strapped to his left thigh. Also a knife in the top of his boot for safety.
Dire has two "Moonblades" sheathed at his side that ignite in blue flame as they are unsheathed.
Dire wears a black compression shirt underneath his crimson red cloak, with black leather gloves that open at the fingertips and knuckles.
Dire has black knee height boots with black denim material joggers tucked into them.
Dire has black hair with very tight curls, cut short.
Dire has the complexion that of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

The Legacy

Care-Free: Dire has to kill people for his own life, and Dire loves living. As a side effect to killing people to live, he has no cares about anything. He doesn't care what people think of him OR how they'll react.

Funny: Dire is also a very witty and snarky character with many jokes up his sleeve. Though he'll never stop fighting to tell a joke, he WILL tell them throughout a fight.

Stubborn: Dire is a stubborn individual, who would never admit to being wrong. He never gives up on a theory until it is completely destroyed and cremated as well.

Reckless: Dire is always reckless when it comes to fighting, he never looks for any flaws in his moves. Instead, he just rushes blindly into a fight.
Malik Dire Faulkner was born September 4th 1999 in a hospital in Mobile, Alabama. His mother [Sandra] and father [Thomas] named him Malik because it meant "King", and they thought he would be the "king" of something. Over the next 4 years, Malik was called the king of anything and everything. King of love, king of jokes, king of breadsticks, even the king of jumping. Malik was watching the news with his mother and father while a report about metahumans was on. "Hey, mommy. You know what I want to be the king of?"
"What is it, moonpie?"
"I want to save the world. I want to be a superhero. I want to be the king of the superheroes."
His dad chuckled and said, "Well kiddo, that ain't gonna happen. To be a superhero you need to have something called a metahuman gene. Something you have to be born with. Something that YOU weren't born with. You need to think about something more modest, and stop trying to be the center of attention."
"I'll show you. I'll get them one day."

One stormy night when Malik was 5, his father came home drunk. His father swerved into the drive and stumbled into the door, empty bottle in hand and keys still in the ignition. When Malik went to welcome his father home, all he did was push him out of the way. His dad stumbled up the stairs, almost falling. Malik, being a smart kid, knew what was about to happen. He ran to the side of the stairs, opened the door to the storage area that no one used, and locked himself inside. He could hear the crashes of broken glass and screams from his mother as he curled into a ball and cried. He heard footsteps slam down the stairs, he could tell they were his mom's because they were fast and sounded small. He heard her barrel out of the door, get into her car, and leave. Never to return. Malik peeked out of the closet to see his father yelling out of the doorway, "YEAH!!! THAT'LL TEACH YA'!"
Malik shut the door back, and slept there until the morning came. Only to do it again tomorrow. Not very heroic was it?

As the years went by, that room became a part of Malik. It was a sanctuary, his happy place, and where he learned he was great at writing at 16.
At 18, Dire was sitting with his father. Watching the news. A metahuman report appeared again.
"How does that not fascinate you? Have you never wanted to be the one to be the one to save the world?" Malik asked
"No, because I'm not selfish like you and leave it to the heroes!" He turned the channel to the football game.
He then took one more swig of whiskey, and sat the bottle down.
He watched as their team threw an interception and the other team run it back for a touchdown. He ALSO saw the empty bottle of whiskey come around and whack him right in the face. "DAMMIT!!!" His father yelled as he crashed the bottle over the table, breaking the bottle and a part of the table.
"Dad, calm down!"
He whipped around, and Malik knew in that moment the he messed up. His father reared around and back handed him, "No, YOU calm down!!!" He delivered another blow.
"Dad, it's just a game!!!" Now realizing that he may as well speak, because he can't make it worse.
His father didn't say anything. He simply laughed, picked up the broken bottle, and advanced toward him. "This is just a game too. It's called: Get your ass beat."
Malik ran to the kitchen and prepared to defend himself. His father ran ahead and swiped, nearly sliced his eye open. He came around again with the bottle and this time connected with his arm.
Malik looked down to see the wound wasn't too deep, but the piece of glass was broken off in his skin. "What the fuck!!!!" He exclaimed to his father
"I'm tired of you being such a baby!!!" He yelled as he thrust the bottle to his heart.
Malik now knew he was going for the kill. He ran to the other the staircase. He almost bolted upstairs, but he then thought about how stupid he was.
What was he gonna do? Jump out of the window? But, under the staircase there was a way to get under the house and crawl out of the side. He learned that when he decided to sneak out a few years ago. "I guess that was good for something after all." He mumbled to himself as he slammed the door of the storage room shut. He was presented to the majority of his stuff [because at this point this was his room]. He decided to pack up most of the things he would need to survive a couple of nights. He grabbed a bunch of clothes out of the closet, some probably stale food from the mini fridge, a flashlight, a hunting knife, his phone, and his charger. On his way out of the cubby hole, a flash of gold caught his eye. He looked over, and saw a slightly loose board. Under that board there was something with gold on the outside of it. He pulled the board really hard, and found a book underneath it. He didn't understand how he couldn't have seen it before this moment in time, but he never really pulled on his floor boards for fun. It was evident this book had been there for a LONG time, because of the thick layer of dust that was on it. Yet, this wasn't an ordinary book. He could tell from the cover being the contorting face of a demon. He got scared, but felt like he needed to investigate more and took it. He then went to the cubby in the left corner of the room, and walked into the rainy night. Headed for the woods.

When Malik had made it a safe distance into the woods to stop, he immediately pulled the book out. Although it was raining, he couldn't help himself so he decided to get under a canopy of trees. He flipped through the pages, and he found out that these were ways to summon demons in the olden days.
"How to summon vampires? Lame. How to expel a demon? Who cares?" He was mad at his father, but not mad enough to summon a demon to kill him. Just as he was about to shut the book and move on, he looked at the page he was on. "How to gain powers from a demon? Me likey..."
He read the instructions, they seemed fairly easy. All he needed was to hold something dead in his hand and say a chant. He looked around and saw a chipmunk sitting about 50 feet away from him. He slowly moved to pick up a rock that would surely hurt the thing.
"Hurt the chipmunk, get powers. Don't hurt the chipmunk, let the world destroy itself... Chipmunk, or millions of people... Hmmm..." When he succeeded to make the descision, he threw it, THWUNK and it hit the poor chipmunk square on the head to turn his brain to mush. He picked up the chipmunk and said, "Sorry dude, you were just a victim of your everyday demon spawning."
He held the chipmunk in his hand and said the chant.
Then the wind seemed to pick up, the trees began to shake. He felt excitement well up inside him, then the wind stopped.
Then complete silence, "Aw, cmon!" He yelled.
Then all of the sudden, there was a jolt throughout his body.
He involuntarily squeezed the chipmunk, to the point of making it explode.
Then, there was nothing.

Malik was awoken to a loud roar, and a very deep voice booming, "WHO DARES DISTURB ME IN MY HOUSE!!!"
He stood up to see a horrible sight, everything was orange with magma rock for floors and lava waterfalls outside. The air was painful to breath and his eyes couldn't cry because it was so hot. "Where the hell am I? Am I dead? Who are you?"
When he finally stopped looking at the scenery and looked at who he was talking to, he looked up to see a truly terrifying... Thing. It was a very large [at least 20 feet tall just sitting there] grey demon with fire for eyes. Horns pointing backwards out of his head, looking down upon him menacingly.
"You have answered your own question fool, you are in hell. You are not dead. You have summoned your undeserving self to this place. I am the almighty Errtu! Ruler of this whole pit of hell."
"HELL!!! I'm in HELL!!!"
"That is what I said, is it not? You have summoned yourself here to gain powers from me, so listen closely I will not repeat myself. In order to gain any power I could give you, you must prove yourself." After he said all this, a weapon rack full of demonic weapons appeared. "Choose one weapon."
He looked around to find a wicked looking dagger and picked it up. He realized that he needed to at least ACT like this is something he does everyday, because this is a quite powerful demon he's messing with. "I am ready, Errtu. My name is Malik by the way." He said with a shaky voice
"I know who you are you imbecile. Do you really think a powerful being such as me wouldn't know who was entering his realm? I know everything about you Malik Dire Faulkner. I will call you by your middle name, Dire. Now, this is my champion." A strange mutation that looked like the mixture of a demon, a praying mantis, a wasp, a gorilla, and a lizard stomped out. "No one has ever defeated it in the ring of dishonor. Let us see if you shall break the streak shall we?"
Malik stepped into the coliseum looking area, and waited to see what the monster would do. The monster seemed to be doing the same thing. So Malik bluffed a bull rush straight to the monster. The thing apparently knew that was coming, and bluffed a jab then brought it down. If the coliseum weren't sand, he would have been dead. Yet his luck of getting away with minor cuts came through again, and he got slammed into the sand. He rolled left and ran around the thing, the only place he saw was under its wings and its eyes. He decided he needed to make the monster fly.

After 30 minutes of getting tossed around and toyed with, he found out how to get it to fly. He was going to have to strike fast, but he was going to get on its back. Therefore it would fly up and try to impale him on the stalagmites. He COULD survive the fall, if he rolled. It WOULD hurt when he landed, though. He rolled his eyes, "Alright, if I'm gonna die... I'd better do it in style." He ran forward trying to confuse the thing by charging ahead and yelling, "LEEEEROOOYYYY JENKIIINS!!!!"
It confused it long enough for Malik to get half of the distance, then it was ready again. He waited for the thing to jab and when it did, he grabbed onto it despite all weird spikes coming off the inside. "Hope you don't have poison, big fella."
He swung around and landed on its head, to look dead in its eyes. "Staring contest!" He poked it in the eyes "You blinked, I win!"
As if on cue, the thing flipped its wings open. The droning of the wings was so loud, he almost passed out. He looked down to see the wings didn't seem to give easy access to his under skin. He winced. He decided to go for the eyes, "Hello again, I need this." He said as he stabbed it in its eye. He pulled the knife out and the thing started to fly around in circles. "Cmon man, just give me a break!" He struggled, but got his knife into the thing's eyes. Being completely blind, the thing flew straight up at top speed, "Oh, shit!" Malik said as the thing shot up.
He stabbed the thing in the side and flipped down the side. The thing slammed itself up through the stalagmites and Malik thought for sure the thing was dead. He pushed himself off the side into a swan dive so he could roll. When he did so, he turned around, flipped the thing off, and started to walk away. Then he heard the thing try to move. He stopped, groaned, and started singing the chorus of "F*ck You" by Lily Allen. Then the thing fell off the stalagmites. It tried to fly but it impaled its wings on the stalagmites, so it couldn't fly. It slammed to the ground and made a big crater in the sand.
Malik decided he was going to have to make sure he killed the thing. He found the dagger laying in the sand a couple feet away from the thing. He the began to saw at its neck.

Malik slammed the head down at the foot of Errtu's throne. His look of disbelief was priceless to Malik, as he beamed with proud.
"How did you..."
"Luck, mister tu. I can't believe it either, if the helps."
Errtu shook his disbelief off his face, "No matter, you'll kill yourself with your powers." He snapped his fingers and a watch appeared on his wrist.
"What're my powers then?"
Errtu simply pointed at the watch that appeared on his watch when he snapped his fingers.
Malik examined it to find a button that said deploy, he never saw that on one before.
He pressed the button and a black compression shirt, black joggers, black knee length boots, two swords sheathed at his side, and a red cloak.
"Whoa, this is awesome!"
"Yes, but with powers... Come weaknesses. Remember that. You have many more powers to unlock, but I will tell you two things.
You can teleport. Not going to tell anything more on that.
The other is about your apartment. I-"
"Uh, Errtu... I don't have an apartment."
Errtu growled, "Do not think I know that. I am getting to this. Your apartment is warded with powers. One of the wards being you can heal any mortal wound inside the apartment. That is if you can get there, before dying. Another ward is on the specific item of the chalkboard on your wall. It will have the name of a target. Whenever the name appears, you must kill them within one month or die yourself."
At that, Dire's happiness sunk.
"Yes, I know you wanted to be a superhero. You will not be killing superheroes every month, sometimes a name may not even appear. You will be killing everyday people who tempted me. You may get a hero, or even a villain. I care not of your pointless squalls." He snapped his fingers and the key to his apartment appeared in his hand. "Have fun, young mortal. I know you will."

When Malik woke up in his bed, in his apartment. He went to check the chalk board. It read "Thomas F. Faulkner."
Malik looked down at his watch, on the side was a button on the side that said "Deploy". He pressed it and his suit slid out of his watch and went onto his body in a split second. He grinned and said, "I'll show you who got superpowers."

Dire over the years, has learned all the strengths and weaknesses of his powers and gear. He learned he can not get intoxicated by any drink, he cannot be affected by any sickness in the world, and can not be affected by any type of drug [tranquilizers are exception]. He learned he can not teleport more than once until a 5 minute cooldown is done. He learned his moonblades make him fast enough to catch an arrow. He also learned he can still tire. He is in good shape so that rarely effects him. Current day Dire can be found doing heroic things such as stopping bank robberies [by killing the robbers] and thefts [by killing the robbers and stealing THEIR stuff]. He loves being a superhuman, and wouldn't change it for the world. He has also taken swordsmanship and has mastered it. He has also goes to shooting ranges all the time. He likes to call himself the King of Murder nowadays to scare people. His biggest dream now, is to be a part of a team to stop the purge.

The Powers and Weaknesses


Power 1:
Teleportation: Dire has short range teleportation that could get him no farther than a mile. If Dire teleports any farther than 10 feet, he has to wait for a cooldown of 5 minutes [15 posts].
Power 2:
Regeneration: Although Dire has the power to regenerate entire limbs and organs, they can only grow back immediately inside his apartment. The only effects that stay are his immunities to disease, drugs, and intoxication.

Weakness 1:
Super Sonic Blasts: Loud Noises can make Dire unable to teleport. Any type of supersonic wave can distract Dire from teleporting, which could make him teleport in the wrong place, in a wall, or not appear at all.
Weakness 2:
Magic: Dire's wounds can be healed from anything from cuts and scrapes to losing an arm in his apartment. Magic effects, however heal very VERY slowly and could not even be considered being healed. For a magic effect to fully heal in his apartment, it would take at least 8 months whereas a lost limb could take a matter of minutes.
RP Mechanics

RP Mechanic(s):
-Dire has a red flash appear when teleporting. It is not blinding, but he could not teleport to be stealthy.
-Dire's eyes turn red when he is in his hero attire, he doesn't know why. He just assumes it came from Errtu.
Moonblades: Dire's moonblades are two swords that catch flame when unsheathed from their hell pockets [sheathes]. When on fire, they can cut through highly durable materials [such as rock and metal]. They also make Dire fast enough to catch an arrow flying towards him.
These moonblades also have weaknesses.
Ice: Ice is the only thing that can quench the flames of his blade. They must be reheated in the sheathes for a couple minutes [3 posts]. When the blades have no flame, they can not cut through the metal and rock. They are just normal katana blades.

Water: Though water doesn't take out the blades, it does take the speed away. Dire has normal reflexes when water is touching the blades.

Knives Galore: Dire has many knives strapped all around him. None or them special. Just knives

Goldy: The only special knife Dire has is named "Goldy." He got this golden butterfly knife from one of his targets from Errtu

Grappling Hook: Pretty self explanatory.

Have Guns? Yup: Over the years Dire has collected various firearms and has them all in his apartment. He rarely uses them, but sometimes he feels lazy and wants to get one shot to the head to get a job done quick.
Physical Priority

Agility 2
Endurance 3
Reaction 1
Strength 4

Last edited by TheDastardlyDire on August 8th 2016, 11:04 am; edited 2 times in total
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The Demonic Dire Empty Re: The Demonic Dire

Post by Thorgron July 27th 2016, 9:50 pm

Okay Dire, lets go over the changes that need to be made to get this character up and running. Before we even get into his powers, we need to talk about history. As it stands now, this history goes between including information that is random and unnecessary (he lost his virginity in a closet at 16) to plain contradictory (an untrained powerless human beats the undefeated demon champion in two moves and record time).

Information like what is provided in the first example doesn't seem to further the plot of his backstory in anyway except to provide a bit of trivia that is uncomfortable and awkward to read. If there is a good reason for us to know the circumstances of him losing his virginity, then by all means include it, but for information like that unless it is totally essential to the story you are telling (which that bit of info in his current history is not) please refrain from including it.

The second example (beating the demon in record time) presents a similar issue. As that scene is set up, the demon lord states that his champion has never been defeated. This implies that he has fought against others, probably some who even knew what they were doing in a fight, and won. Now its fine for a character to be exceptional, but its another for there to be an event like this to occur that completely removes the reader from the narrative you are trying to tell. I cannot suspend my disbelief to believe for one second that what is essentially a child who has never been in a fight before defeats a demon bred for combat, that is battle-tested and utterly undefeated.

Those are just two of the more glaring examples. Some other things in the history that I would like to see either changed or better explained in the backstory include; how the book got in his closet (has it always been there and he just never noticed? was it put there recently? if so why?), Jake plainly introduces himself to the demon-lord seconds after being terrified at being in hell (either he has a severe emotional issue which was not in any way addressed prior to that scene, or more likely you didn't realize that you had done a jarring change of attitude with no transition), the demon-lord goes into an unnatural amount of detail about how Dire's powers work even though he clearly states he doesn't care about Dire at all and even threatens to kill him on a whim (again, this is a strange bit of dialogue that doesn't seem to have a place except to ensure that your character knows 100% how his powers work from the very start, wouldn't it make more sense for the demon to just send Dire on his way hoping that he'd kill himself with his powers?), why does Dire need an apartment to heal (I'm fine with the way this works mechanically but from a narrative standpoint its just strange, why does it have to be an apartment? and why does the demon not know that Dire doesn't have one when he clearly knew Malik's middle name even though he never states it) why does the demon tell Dire that with his killing stipulation he could never be a hero? (there was nothing in the backstory up to that point that even remotely hinted at Dire wanting to be a hero so this currently seems random, he has no issue killing an innocent animal and summoning a demon just for a chance at superpowers, that doesn't seem to hint at him being heroic). That being said there are some interesting story elements that you've built up here that could make this character very interesting. I particularly like his obligation to kill a random target as dictated by the demon within a month or die (though instantly gaining information on any character the demon dictates is a no go that I can't approve. That sort of thing would need to be listed as a power and would be 100% permission based from whatever character you were wanting to use it on). Please understand that I am not trying to be overly critical of your character or your application and understand that editing is a part of writing that we all do.

With all of that said, lets move on to the powers. First of all, teleporting within a mile to enter and exit threads is perfectly except-able (though definitely not short range). But as you currently have it set up, it looks like he can teleport up to ten times in a single post before the ability goes on cooldown so long as he doesn't teleport more than 10 feet. If that is not how you intended it please let me know.

By super sonic blasts I am assuming you mean loud noises. If that's the case I think this is a perfectly acceptable weakness for that power and could provide some fun interaction for you and the people you RP with here.

Power number two seems to be the immunity to toxins unless he is inside his apartment in which case he heals. This appears to be two abilities. The first (the immunity) I would say is an ability which requires a weakness. The second (regenerating only inside his apartment) is an RP mechanic which does not require a weakness because unless he is fighting inside his apartment building, it only serves as a reason for why he doesn't die after a thread where his arm gets ripped off or otherwise.

On to weakness number two. This is actually a weakness for your item (and should be written in under that item as a weakness). So you will need to add a new different weakness for your immunity to toxins. And on the subject of items, while its fine if your blades are able to cut through otherwise highly durable materials (like rock and steel could be used as examples) saying that they cut through anything (or almost anything) isn't going to fly. Also, if the blades increase his speed as well, please say how much they increase it and add another weakness to the blades.

Phew alright, that was a lot. Hopefully I haven't overwhelmed you with all of this. If you have any questions, feel free to either hop in the C-Box, PM me or reply to the app itself. Happy editing! Smile

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The Demonic Dire Empty Re: The Demonic Dire

Post by TheDastardlyDire July 29th 2016, 12:50 pm

Okay, sorry it took so long.
I took out the awkward virginity thing, I really just did that as a joke, sorry.
I made the demon fight much longer, AND probably more enjoyable to read.
I sent Dire out without knowing about his powers [though I didn't give actual story on all the instances where he found out his powers.]
I had the demon know Dire's name because he's a demon an he knew who was entering his realm.
I added a backstory on him wanting to be a superhero.
Dire does not get any other info other than his target's name.
Yes supersonic is loud noises, and I added that in the descriptions.
I've fixed all the powers and weaknesses AND explained why its inside his apartment he is healed.
Thank you for taking the time to read all that AND type all that. Very Happy

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Age : 123
Job : World-Class Mercenary
Humor : So a hero, a renegade, and a villain walk into a bar...
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The Demonic Dire Empty Re: The Demonic Dire

Post by Thorgron August 15th 2016, 7:33 am

Approved until stated otherwise

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