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Riley Kahinu

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Riley Kahinu Empty Riley Kahinu

Post by Zonkes January 28th 2021, 12:09 am








Riley Kahinu


"Did you hear the one about the guy who got his ass handed to him?"


The Bio


Real Name: Riley Kahinu
Hero Name: Jester
Titles: Tickle Me hottie, The Awakened Descendant of Humor
Alignment: Neutral Good
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Race: Bronze Descendant
Hair: Black with bronze streaks
Eyes: Copper
Height: 5’2”
Weight: 92 lbs
Blood type: No

The Looks


Riley is a woman of Polynesian descent with coppery skin and black hair that drapes down to just above her butt. She has an athletic build, reminiscent of a model. Her face is finely featured, and one could almost mistake natural skin for makeup due to how flawless it truly is. In simple terms, Riley could wear anything and get some attention from the opposite sex.

The Personality


Riley is the type of person to take nothing to heart until you prove to her that you mean it. Her wild antics and general hedonistic nature lead many to believe that she is out of control. However, for Riley, this is as in control as she wants to be. Her death affected her in ways that even she has yet to understand, and quite honestly, has lead her down a path that - admittedly - has left her feeling pretty bad about herself.

Riley has a deep seeded anger within her. Something she does her hardest to repress. The very idea that someone could take everything she was… everything she ever will be… and destroy it is enough to baffle her.

Riley uses humor to deal with everything. Diffusing a situation, masking the pain in her heart, every single bad thing she sees. But honestly, she was just born that way. She aims to be a bright spot in an otherwise heartless world. Using humor to expose the dark spots, and brighten them a bit.

The Story


Growing up was not an easy thing for Riley. In school, she was not the smartest and while she was pretty, the other girls pointed out even the most minor of imperfections that she honestly didn’t even see on herself until they pointed it out. In fact, the first time they did it they seemed fairly surprised themselves.

While in school, she mostly sat by herself reading terrible joke books and making her classmates groan. Her parents, while they were great parents, were a bit overprotective. Never allowing her to go out and see the world. Heck, it wasn’t until she was hit by a car in eighth grade that she realized she was special. Especially since the car bent around her.

Riley’s life from that point on became about… comedy. I mean, are you really surprised? The girl who was obsessed with jokes as a kid, goes on to become a comedian? At 16, she found her way to a comedy club that would actually let her in. She utterly slew the audience, and it wasn’t even her best material.

She continued going every week until somebody found her and put her on stage on the comedic hub reality show, Joking Hazard. If she won, she’d be given a chance to go on to Hollywood. The judges got into a massive argument over who would take her. But as Riley went on, she began to realize… that wasn’t really something she could control. In fact, people seemed to be unable to respond to her at times. She realized that it was some sort of metahuman ability. This meant that she had to drop out of the competition, sadly. However, she was suddenly getting calls for gigs across the United States and Canada. Something she wouldn’t have to drop out of.

Riley found her way out into the “real world”, telling her jokes and anecdotes across the nations.

At the peak of her career, Riley made a mistake. She was doing her routine, the audience was eating it up except for this one asshole and his friends. They were extremely disruptive, catcalling her, mocking her, just generally being nuisances. So she started riffing off of them.

Obviously, the leader didn’t take too kindly to that notion as after the show, Riley found herself face to face with a group of thugs armed with metal pipes. She made a pair of boxing gloves, and began to punch them with as much force as she could manage - which was no small amount - but 6 men against an untrained, almost unarmed woman? You might as well have signed her death warrant right there.

The first blow took her to a knee. The second one to her stomach. The beating got worse from there. Riley doesn’t talk about it, but one can only assume that whatever they did was just as traumatic once she was in a state where she could no longer move.

Riley Kahinu died that night. As did her hopes of ever becoming one of the greats.

When she woke, she found herself in a strange new world. Shadows battled for dominance over each other, bronze pillars reached a dusky sky. The stands were empty, but at the very center of the arena stood an hour glass. And in the center of the hour glass, there was a man. He looked beaten down, ratty. But when his glowing copper eyes met hers; they were polite. Familiar even. Riley walked up to him, and he spoke. Despite the thick glass between the two, Riley heard him clear as day.

“Greetings, Riley. I am Emeth. Would you care for a snack? Some tea maybe?”

When Riley refused, Emeth went on to explain Riley. How she was dead, how she would return shortly, how she was a descendant and what that was. His role as a god. Riley felt like her head would explode with all the info. By the time Emeth finished his preaching, Riley felt herself slipping from the realm.

She returned to earth, on the stage of the place where she performed her first show. Empty now, long since closed; Riley picked her way through cobwebs and made it outside. When the truth finally hit her, she collapsed. Angry tears rolling down her face. She felt the change, the streaks of red in her hair, her shift in height. She screamed in rage and ran.

It took several weeks of tracking to find them, but she did. She grinned wickedly, and began taking them apart. Piece by piece.

She woke up, covered in blood and body parts. The men were still alive, most of the mutilated in one way or another. Riley puked. What the fuck did she do? While it was definitely her, it also wasn’t. Who was this person this violent torturer who got satisfaction from the acts she committed? These men had killed her, sure but… she got better, right?

Oh god. She had to call an ambulance and leave. She ran to the home phone, but paused. She had heard the click of the shotgun before she heard the voice. “The fuck did you do to my husband?”

Riley couldn’t help it, it was who she was. “We just played Doctor, honey.” The woman started giggling, and Riley raised an eyebrow. Was this one of those descendant powers? “Is that a shotgun pointed at me, or did your husband make a miraculous recovery?” The woman dropped the shotgun in her hysterics, and it went off into Riley’s chest. She didn’t even feel it. Oh hell yeah. But wait… ambulance. Right.

Riley ducked out the back door, hoping that the men would recover but maybe not fast enough that she could escape. She had stolen the wife’s clothes, and put the baggy clothing on. She then took the man’s baseball cap and escaped into the night. She had to be more careful in the future. That was awful. She had to become a hero.

The Powers


Descendant of Humor - Riley is the Bronze Descendant. Thus, she gains all the abilities and weaknesses that come with being a descendant at the Awakened level.

Descendant Physiology - Riley isn’t the most physical of descendants. However, all of her physical abilities - strength, speed, and durability are all at least peak human. With her strength and speed being enhanced to allow her to pick up vehicles and move faster than most modern vehicles. In addition, her mind is almost completely immune to psychic attack, especially mind control and illusionary attacks. However, it’s her senses that gain the most boost. Her sense of smell can pick out individual scents in a crowded marketplace after 10 minutes of its lingering. Her eyesight can see things clearer than a hawk, and allows her to zoom in similarly. Her hearing allows her to hear an individual conversation up to two blocks away in a crowded street.

Laughter is the best Medicine - Riley’s passive ability is pretty easy. When she hits things, instead of getting hurt, they laugh. The harder she hits, the worse the laughing fit. So while you might go flying back from a hit from her, instead of groaning or yelling out in pain; you’ll start laughing. However, this ability doesn’t protect you against damage you might take after she hits you. She can just as easily drop a car on you as she can fight you in a straight brawl, and the passive only affects things she’s currently holding unless it’s a construct.

Mrs. Bright Side - Riley, like all descendants, can create anything that she has an intimate knowledge of. This ability allows her to create anything from a crowbar, to a giant toy robot. However, her constructs are an extension of her passive. They cannot deal damage. However, while within 10 feet of the construct, you’ll find that the world doesn’t seem nearly as bleak. However, even the most simple of Riley’s constructs double her hitting power.

Great Personality - Riley’s studied ability is that her voice, when she’s telling an uplifting story or joke; she will make those around her laugh and see everything in a brand new way. Generally, this allows her to talk even the mopiest of individuals into happy, eager people. This only tends to work on one person at a time however. [PERMISSION BASED]

Comic Source - Riley has the ability to summon a piece of her cosmic source into the real world. This item is a children’s joke book, the cover of which is a metallic copper with the words on front reading “World’s stupidest jokes and gags”. While she’s using this item, she can flip to any page in the book and find a completely random joke. She can tell the joke from this page, and get a raucous round of laughter from the audience. However, this does cause her audience to become comatose slugs for the rest of her performance - or fight. This can last anywhere from 30 seconds - 1 post - or 5 minutes - 10 posts. It all depends on the strength of will the person has. Additionally, the joke affects everyone that hears it. Not just her intended target. [Permission Based]


Awakened Descendant Physiology - While awakened, Riley has increased physical and sensory abilities. What this means is that her durability is increased to take a hit from a cannon and keep walking unphased, and her voice becomes loud enough to be heard clearly from up to 240 feet away while talking normally. Yelling or screaming can get her voice up to 480 feet away. The tone of her voice remains the same for everyone that hears it, however. Additionally, Riley’s sense of smell is now so in tune that she can pick out individual scents inside of a landfill, and tell you exactly where to find the item - or person - that caused it.

Zealot Fool - Riley has become corrupted. When she passed from the realm of the living to the Copper Coliseum, she was angry. Not just angry, though. Enraged to the point of it enveloping her soul. The red rage transformed her into a seven foot tall warrior woman with copper hair infused with red highlights, and eyes that glistened with ruby red rage. While corrupted, all of Riley’s powers - outside of her physiology - are changed.

Comedic Warlord - While corrupted, Riley’s jokes are actually painful to hear. As in they will literally cause wounds to open on the enemies body. The severity of the wound depends on how “cringy” the joke is, which is a personal measure.[Permission Based]

Bloodied Constructs - Riley’s constructs while in this form are covered in bright red blood. Anyone that steps in the blood begins to laugh until they cry. Then, when they believe themselves to be done crying, they become enraged at the world around them. Feeling the same burning in their stomach that Riley feels.[Permission Based]

Zealots Peace - If left alone for long enough, Riley begins to slowly increase in physical power. Her abilities are increased by 2 times for the first post, the second post by four, etc. etc. until she is hit.

No Cosmic Relief - Riley summons a corrupted piece of her cosmic source, a glowing red and brown microphone that swirls with the energy of the two emotional energies combining. Riley can telepathically control this microphone, and it can transmit her voice up to 240 feet away. However, Riley uses this mostly as an offensive weapon in the form of a whip. When hit with this weapon, the laughter simply doesn’t stop. With enough willpower, it can be managed, or blocked; but if you are infected, the laughter won’t stop until you begin to bleed in the throat from too much laughter.[PERMISSION BASED]

The Weaknesses


Everybody’s a critic - Both Riley’s “Comic Source”, and “Great Personality” rely on her target audience actually understanding the joke she tells. Because of this, her abilities are rather hit or miss. Especially with those of an older or younger generation. When in a fight, she tends to use really simple jokes, but there are those that simply “don’t get it”.

Downer - Riley, like most descendants, has a weakness to the color directly opposite her on the spectrum. In this case, Cyan. Being the color of grief, when it touches her skin, it causes ice crystals to crawl over her skin, and suddenly even Riley has trouble finding the light within all of the darkness. Her jokes while under this weakness are half as effective.

Well yeah, if you bring logic into it… - Riley’s second emotional weakness is that of logic. If Logic is brought against her, her sillier constructs will fail, the jokes she tells lose all effect, and she will be lost in thought - for 1 post.

No Daddy Issues - If bound and gagged, Riley will be unable to use any of the abilities that rely on her voice.

Single Target Focused - The best way to take Riley down is to attack her in a group. She can fight off one or two opponents, but she has a bit of battle tunnel vision. Meaning that the more people you bring, the more likely you’ll be able to take her down.

Enraged Comic - In order to corrupt Riley, you have to do one of two things. Make her angry enough to corrupt - a difficult task - or threaten her with the death that caused her to awaken. Surrounding her with blunt instruments is enough to cause this.

Strategy out the window When Riley is corrupted, it is no longer a thought about where the opponent is going next or where the best place to apply her abilities would be. It’s all about causing as much damage as she can to whatever she’s attacking. It’s easy to outhink her in this state, and it’s even easier to turn her against teammates.

Heckler - In this corrupted state, taking criticism is especially hard for Riley to the point that her constructs will weaken to the point of collapse under their own weight. Additionally, her physical aspects will decrease the more criticism she takes.

Comic Source/No Cosmic Relief: Gemstone - On Riley’s manifestation of the Cosmic Source, each of her weapons have a gemstone somewhere on them. For the joke book, on the cover in the O of Worlds, there is a bronze gem replacing the O, and on the Microphone, just where the cord attaches is a red swirling bronze gem. If either of these gems are destroyed through the use of divine abilities, touching it with enough opposing emotional energy from even someone without a descendancy (Logic, or Grief), or an opposing awakening can trigger the failsafe which not only takes Riley out of her Awakening, but also locks away all of her descendant abilities for an indeterminate amount of time.

Open Mic - When it comes down to it, Riley’s Corrupt Awakening is still just a microphone with a cord attached. And while actually cutting it is damn near impossible, it’s a simple measure to just pull it away from her if she’s using it telekinetically, this will slowly weaken her the further it gets until it's far enough away to completely pull her out of the corruption.

Flopping - While corrupted, it is harder for Riley to tell jokes that land with her audience. They may do no damage, or very little if the audience doesn’t understand that she’s joking, or what the joke is about. This is especially problematic with puns - her main form of attack while corrupted, that due to their nature, can either be very subtle or not subtle at all. Additionally, puns do less damage mentally or physical than a normal joke.

Heard it - If a target has heard her joke, they are inherently less effective against them.

Humorless - People without a nervous system are not affected by her passive ability to cause laughter when they’re hit by her. However, she still cannot cause damage to them and still has to rely on outside sources to harm them.

The Fluff









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Registration date : 2017-01-10

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Riley Kahinu Empty Re: Riley Kahinu

Post by Katrina A. Russel September 3rd 2021, 8:06 pm

Approved! Lets get this ball rolling!
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