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Hannah Ball

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Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 7th 2017, 5:36 pm





Hannah Ball


"I can't wait!"



The Bio

Real Name: Hannah Ball
Hero Name: n/a
Title: Agent 617 (police codename), "Star from Down Under" (press name)
Alignment: Neutral good
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Hair: Golden red, long, silky, straight
Eyes: Green, short lashes
Height: 1.70m (5'7")
Weight: 58kg (121lbs)
Blood type: A+ (A positive)

The Looks

Forgive my terrible attempt at a first sketch!


Bust: 87cm / Waist: 56cm / Hips: 81cm
Muscle mass: 44kg / Body fat: 23% / Waist-to-Hip: .69

Hannah has light-colored skin. Her muscles are not particularly visible. A small birthmark is on her left forearm. Her face is probably a little rounder than in that picture, and she actually has eyebrows etc. She is generally considered quite attractive by most people.

The Personality

Hannah is a natural leader. Well-spoken, charming and charismatic, and the former Head Girl of her school. She wasn't the smartest girl, nor was she the most academically gifted, nor even the biggest social butterfly - but she has an innate talent for inspiring others and understanding how everyone can be involved and contribute according to their strengths. She carries herself with confidence, although about her own abilities, she is always very modest and coy.

As far as anybody knows, Hannah's interests do not extend far beyond her studies. She seems to love her overprotective family to bits, even though they impose strict curfews on her and keep her from seeing too many other people. But secretly, Hannah loves superheroes. She is the ultimate undercover superhero fangirl, and used to fantasize constantly about having her own powers.

Now that she has powers, Hannah trains hard whenever she gets the opportunity. She is often at the gym, working on improving her strength, reflexes, and knowledge of combat. Though a quick study, Hannah's journey has only just begun. While on a hero mission, she would LOVE to try all the things she is not allowed to do as a regular girl because of her family's restrictions.

Favorite things to do when bored: Go to the beach, swim, do extra homework, watch movies about superheroes (secretly), read books about superheroes, do household chores, cook, play games (her favorite is called "Hero Academy 2")

Favorite foods: burgers, egg sandwiches, pizza, pavlova, banana split, tropical juice

Favorite colors: blue, black

The Story

Hannah is the daughter of Richard Ball, an Australian journalist, and Anastasia Ball (born Kolmogorov), a former Russian model. Her parents have never allowed her much freedom. Among the rules they have imposed on her are: no dating, no drugs (including alcohol), must be home between 7pm and 7am overnight, no watching TV, no social media, and so on. They also make her do lots of the housework and cook them meals. Every Sunday she goes to church, and every day she arrives at the university early for her classes.

Hannah has a part-time job as a waitress in a busy restaurant. By day she is also a student in university, studying commerce. Somehow, she still has the stamina to be a part-time superhero, too.

It all started when she began sneaking out of the house late at night, especially when her parents were not at home (although she's an adult, they still hire babysitters to mind her). She tried lots of different sports and activities she had never thought of before. She learnt how to scuba dive, and enjoyed exploring the local underwater wildlife whenever she was able to sneak out of class. Then, one day, she found a sunken treasure ship and retrieved a secret cache of golden coins, along with a strange light, in a large treasure chest. As soon as she touched the light, there was a brilliant flash. Hannah passed out, but reawakened washed up on the beach soon afterwards. Over the next few days, she discovered her powers, and used her commerce skills to hide her newfound income from the treasure chest.

After stopping a few robberies, Hannah made a secret alliance with the local police chief. She would help stop crime, and he would help Hannah to avoid her parents' wrath. This is much easier said than done, however, especially as her father's investigative journalism is trying to find out who Australia's newest superhero is. He has no idea that she might be right under his nose...

In fighting, Hannah first tries to coordinate others. If others can assist, her strategies and leadership skills really shine. Then, she attacks headfirst herself. She will fight with courage and respect. She makes no effort to avoid confrontations and in fact seeks them out, hoping to prove herself. She is quite strong for a young human woman, but her reflexes are still developing. One of her more unusual pieces of training is to swim out to sharks and crocodiles - and wrestle with them.

The Priority

3. Agility
1. Endurance
4. Reaction
2. Strength



The Powers

Flight: Hannah can fly unaided. Her speed is much faster than a jumbo jet. Hannah can control her flight without much difficulty, but only has human reaction speeds. When flying low she tends to crash into things. Hannah can always slow down as fast as she pleases, and as such takes no damage from falling. As she flies, she leaves behind a streak of light in the sky.

Flight speed: Apparently, her ability to fly at speed is a power in and of itself. Her speed is mostly limited by practicality - if you have ever tried to go on an amusement park ride that has you going over 100km/h you know how uncomfortable that can be, especially to somebody as sickly as Hannah. Furthermore, she lacks the agility to avoid obstacles and so on at speed. However, in theory she could beat the Concorde in a race. Practically it would be stupid for her to even attempt it, but in theory she can. To put it briefly, her maximum flying speed is hypersonic, but usually she'd fly no faster than a car on a highway (much, much slower than aircraft).

Body of Light: Hannah can pass through anything that light can pass through, such as windows. She clearly glows in the dark (extremely inconvenient for her given her family situation!) while she is charged, her skin is always radiant, and she feels much weaker when in shadow, but much stronger when in light. Light gives her instant energy and speeds up her healing, replacing the need for sleep, food, or drink. She is unable to be blinded. Also, light based attacks (such as lasers) are ineffective against her. She is not, however, incorporeal, and will sustain normal damage from most attacks.

Light Strike: An unarmed strike from Hannah will deal more damage than usual. The additional damage is in the form of slight burn damage from exposure to light radiation. It also tends to produce a burst of very bright light, which usually blinds her foes (if they see in the normal light-based way), but can blind nearby allies as well.

The Weaknesses

Bravado: Hannah tends to jump headfirst into danger. She's more likely to need rescuing herself than rescue anybody as she doesn't have a good sense of risk. As a secondary consequence, Hannah tends to get herself injured, which really stacks in a poor way with her other weaknesses.

Secret Identity: Hannah is very popular in college. She tends to attract new admirers, random stalkers and hangers-on in every adventure she goes on. Not to mention that, even at her age, her father still hires babysitters to make sure she stays safe and away from trouble. Some of these babysitters are *very* dedicated to their jobs. And her father is tracing down who the new hero really is! Hannah has almost no privacy in her life. Hannah must constantly explain away her random absences, injuries and such, without raising suspicion. She is uncontrollably afraid of her secret being revealed: a villain telling her that she'll be killed is less effective than telling her that they'll call her parents.

Sickly: Hannah has lived a sheltered, protected life. Even now in the restaurant where she works, she often becomes unwell, being not used to having germs and such around. Hannah is vulnerable to disease, poisons and other biological maladies. She becomes ill much more readily than even a normal human, and she suffers the effects of illness more than usual too.

Light Charge: Hannah has a fixed amount of power inside her, and can charge up to 2 hours of power use from 1 hour in a very bright environment, such as the sun. She cannot use her powers for more than 5 hours in a setting that is less bright than that, such as: the shade, twilight, a cloudy day, most artificial lights (at home or on the street etc) and so on.

The Items

Skinsuit: Hannah has a catsuit/wetsuit-like suit which she can wear when on a mission where she needs to be stealthy (although she prefers not to do this). The suit is designed to allow light in but not out, so from the outside it appears dark, but Hannah doesn't suffer any significant penalties to her powers. Furthermore, the suit provides a basic level of protection against cold.

Goggles: Hannah's skinsuit has an eye opening, and she often wears goggles over this. The goggles allow her to activate infrared and heat vision. They have attached earpieces, allowing her to scan for and hear radio transmissions.

Gloves of Coherence: These small gloves fit over Hannah's hands. They filter the light waves produced by Hannah's Light Strike ability into a narrow spectrum. Instead of producing a flash, therefore, her punches will produce a fist-shaped laser beam that travels in the direction she was punching. One flying fist on its own is not particularly damaging. Repeated hits, though, will start to seriously burn those she attacks, even to the point of vaporizing their skin.

Charging port: a slightly modified sunbed that Hannah keeps hidden in her parents' basement. She can use this to charge her powers when her powers run low (if she can get in there undetected).

Other personal treasures: her surfboard, the chest in which she found the gold, her laptop, and her posters of her favorite heroes

The Minions


The Fluff

Birthday: February 18
Star sign: Aquarius

On her death, Hannah's body will immediately disintegrate with a flash, leaving behind a speck of light just as Hannah had found it. The next human (with no superpowers) who touches the mysterious floating point of light will gain the same superpowers Hannah had.

For some reason, Hannah has had dreams her whole life of commanding legions of soldiers and terrible beasts of war on ancient battlefields, as though she were a reincarnation of a powerful ancient general. She keeps these a secret and hopes that she isn't crazy.

The RP Sample

Now was the time of the evening when the club was beginning to empty, as most of its drunk patrons sauntered towards more lewd establishments. Hannah stayed at the bar, where she had been spending most of her time avoiding awkward questions about why she was literally one of the brightest objects in the room. She missed the days when she could let loose on the dance floor without immediately giving away her secret identity. Besides, she was already starting to get a headache.

"Hey gurl, where'd you get those muscles?" taunted some drunk bodybuilder sitting next to her. It was ironic, because although Hannah was no slouch, she hardly had enough time to work out seriously. Though she still was clearly stronger than most women, he was clearly the stronger person in the exchange. But Hannah could do much worse than to humor him, since he wasn't pointing out the obvious issue with Hannah's body, being that it could clearly double as a night light.

"Why, how do you think they look?" she asked, flexing her arm in the most bored way possible. The gorilla-like man looked at the arm with some interest before chugging down the last of his cheap beer from the jug he was drinking from.

"Noice" he replied "You should come down to my gym for a bit of a 'private session,' if you know what I mean"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Not interested," she said firmly, "I've got to go home soon anyway. I'm getting tired."

At this, the man grabbed her still-flexed arm with a vice-like hand. "It's simple, gurl" he said, looking at her dead in the eye with the stench of alcohol in his breath "Either we do it at my place - or we do it right here in the bathrooms."

"Hey, dude, lay off, ok?" asked the barkeep, calmly walking up to the pair as he tried to defuse the situation.

"F*** you!" said the man, delivering a swift uppercut to the barkeep. Immediately the barkeep was flung backwards, shattering glasses and precious bottles of alcohol. He fell to the ground with a thud, in a mess of glass, alcohol and blood. The sound was tremendous - so much so that the DJ stopped the music and everyone in the club turned to look at the man, who still hadn't taken his eyes off Hannah.

"Now let's hope nobody else tries to play hero, babe" he said, dragging her by the arm towards the bathrooms "Or else the sexy body you're looking at is going to have to do some really dirty things."

"I tried to say no," she muttered to him as the crowds watched, feeling helpless at the sight of the huge beast forcing around the small beauty, "So now you're going to find out that you've messed with the wrong woman."

"Ha! We'll see about that" he said, almost tearing the bathroom door off its hinges as he tossed Hannah inside.

The crowd watched as the door slammed shut. There was a short pause. Some people went over to help the injured barkeep, who seemed to be seriously hurt. But mostly, the crowd simply stood outside the bathroom, as though choosing the right moment to enter.

Then, all of a sudden, there was a bright flash from inside the bathroom, silhouetted by the door. People covered their eyes as they heard an ear-piercing scream come out of the bathroom - but it sounded more like the man's than Hannah's. Two more flashes followed in quick succession, at which point the screaming stopped.

"What was that?" the crowd said to each other in wonder. Slowly they moved to approach the door. One young man reached the door handle, feeling the attacker's sweat still fresh on the brass. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he flung open the door and the crowd gasped in shock.

The man was lying on the ground, clearly unconscious. Both of his eyes seemed burnt right out of his skull, and his eye sockets were surrounded by red fist marks. The man had taken his shirt off, allowing a third punch-mark right in the gut to be clearly visible. On his chest was placed a small note: "Hope this changes how you look at women," it read. As for Hannah, she was nowhere to be found. The only opening the crowd could see was a window, but that was on a stay specifically so people couldn't get out that way. It also was quite apparent that nothing had been tampered with.

After a few moments of shock, the crowd began talking to each other:
"Was that the star?"
"That guy could have been so dead."
"He was such a jerk anyway! Glad she did something!"
"The star's my favorite superhero! She's so strong!"
"Have you heard that she can fly?"
"Do you think she can go invisible?"
"I reckon she's kinda cute"
"Hey, do you want your eyes burnt out too?"
"No! I'd never do anything like what he did, I just think she's beautiful, that's all."

Soon afterwards the police and ambulance arrived. The man was later arrested for battery and attempted rape. But as for the Star, well, she avoided that part of town going forward.

The following morning, Hannah was in her pajamas, eating cereal for breakfast. Her dad was across her at the table, reading the newspaper.
"Can you believe that the star from down under was in Brisbane last night?" he grumbled.
"No, dad" replied Hannah innocently.
"Hm - this security camera photo - somehow her face looks familiar" he said, before looking up again at his daughter "Like I've seen her before somewhere ... but where?"
"Well, um, I hope you find her" replied Hannah with a smile, nervously hoping he wouldn't make the connection, "Maybe see if you can interview some of the people in Brisbane?"
"Good idea" he said, tossing his paper messily on the table "I should go to work. Make sure you do all your chores before you go to study."
"Yes, daddy" she said sweetly, standing up and giving him a hug.






Application created by Chellizard | This code is open-source and available for free use.



Last edited by HannahBall on November 11th 2017, 9:39 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 10th 2017, 11:51 pm

So, uhm ... how long does this usually take?
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by CainVulsore on November 11th 2017, 8:32 am

1. For her flight, how fast can she fly?
2. In the weakness section please add a weakness that pertains to one of her Powers.
3. RP Section: i am going to ask that you fill this out as you are a newcomer to the site, this is so that we can get a feel for your Rp style and see Hannah in action!
After this you should be good to go!

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 11th 2017, 6:51 pm

1. Given that she's light-based, and that lightning is her symbol, I'd say quite fast. I was picturing something close to hypersonic speeds being possible for her in theory, although I imagine she'd probably die very quickly if she tried to fly that fast unprotected. In practice I don't think she'd ever accelerate above roughly 2000km/h, and even that would be highly risky. While she can certainly go fast, she's smart enough to realize that most of the time it's a very poor idea, because at altitude it's hard to spot something like a bird, and she doesn't have the vision, agility or strength required to avoid death from a small object smashing into her at like 600m/s. She would try to follow aircraft (knowing they keep their flight paths clear) but then she'd need to deal with turbulence, which doesn't exactly work well with her poor agility / ability to correct her flight path. So usually you'd see her be very careful about her speed, because flying is inherently dangerous.

2. Ok ... I actually was wondering about balance and where you'd see Hannah sitting in that. I actually felt like she was pretty weak already, at least compared with comics I know etc., so this is good to know.

In light strike, I'd add this: The additional damage is in the form of burn damage from exposure to light radiation.

In the weakness section, I'd add: Light Charge: Hannah has a fixed amount of power inside her, and can charge up to 2 hours of power use from 1 hour in a very bright environment, such as the sun. She cannot use her powers for more than 5 hours in a setting that is less bright than that, such as: the shade, twilight, a cloudy day, most artificial lights (at home or on the street etc) and so on.

HOWEVER, this also undoes her weakness of glowing 24/7. She now only glows when she is charged (which still might be a problem in some situations, like the first 5 hours of any given evening).

To her equipment I'd also add this:
Charging port: a slightly modified sunbed that Hannah keeps hidden in her parents' basement. She can use this to charge her powers when her powers run low (if she can get in there undetected).

3. Oh, sorry, I knew there was a bit I'd forgotten to fill out! Ok, here we go...

Now was the time of the evening when the club was beginning to empty, as most of its drunk patrons sauntered towards more lewd establishments. Hannah stayed at the bar, where she had been spending most of her time avoiding awkward questions about why she was literally one of the brightest objects in the room. She missed the days when she could let loose on the dance floor without immediately giving away her secret identity. Besides, she was already starting to get a headache.

"Hey gurl, where'd you get those muscles?" taunted some drunk bodybuilder sitting next to her. It was ironic, because although Hannah was no slouch, she hardly had enough time to work out seriously. Though she still was clearly stronger than most women, he was clearly the stronger person in the exchange. But Hannah could do much worse than to humor him, since he wasn't pointing out the obvious issue with Hannah's body, being that it could clearly double as a night light.

"Why, how do you think they look?" she asked, flexing her arm in the most bored way possible. The gorilla-like man looked at the arm with some interest before chugging down the last of his cheap beer from the jug he was drinking from.

"Noice" he replied "You should come down to my gym for a bit of a 'private session,' if you know what I mean"

Hannah rolled her eyes. "Not interested," she said firmly, "I've got to go home soon anyway. I'm getting tired."

At this, the man grabbed her still-flexed arm with a vice-like hand. "It's simple, gurl" he said, looking at her dead in the eye with the stench of alcohol in his breath "Either we do it at my place - or we do it right here in the bathrooms."

"Hey, dude, lay off, ok?" asked the barkeep, calmly walking up to the pair as he tried to defuse the situation.

"F*** you!" said the man, delivering a swift uppercut to the barkeep. Immediately the barkeep was flung backwards, shattering glasses and precious bottles of alcohol. He fell to the ground with a thud, in a mess of glass, alcohol and blood. The sound was tremendous - so much so that the DJ stopped the music and everyone in the club turned to look at the man, who still hadn't taken his eyes off Hannah.

"Now let's hope nobody else tries to play hero, babe" he said, dragging her by the arm towards the bathrooms "Or else the sexy body you're looking at is going to have to do some really dirty things."

"I tried to say no," she muttered to him as the crowds watched, feeling helpless at the sight of the huge beast forcing around the small beauty, "So now you're going to find out that you've messed with the wrong woman."

"Ha! We'll see about that" he said, almost tearing the bathroom door off its hinges as he tossed Hannah inside.

The crowd watched as the door slammed shut. There was a short pause. Some people went over to help the injured barkeep, who seemed to be seriously hurt. But mostly, the crowd simply stood outside the bathroom, as though choosing the right moment to enter.

Then, all of a sudden, there was a bright flash from inside the bathroom, silhouetted by the door. People covered their eyes as they heard an ear-piercing scream come out of the bathroom - but it sounded more like the man's than Hannah's. Two more flashes followed in quick succession, at which point the screaming stopped.

"What was that?" the crowd said to each other in wonder. Slowly they moved to approach the door. One young man reached the door handle, feeling the attacker's sweat still fresh on the brass. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he flung open the door and the crowd gasped in shock.

The man was lying on the ground, clearly unconscious. Both of his eyes seemed burnt right out of his skull, and his eye sockets were surrounded by red fist marks. The man had taken his shirt off, allowing a third punch-mark right in the gut to be clearly visible. On his chest was placed a small note: "Hope this changes how you look at women," it read. As for Hannah, she was nowhere to be found. The only opening the crowd could see was a window, but that was on a stay specifically so people couldn't get out that way. It also was quite apparent that nothing had been tampered with.

After a few moments of shock, the crowd began talking to each other:
"Was that the star?"
"That guy could have been so dead."
"He was such a jerk anyway! Glad she did something!"
"The star's my favorite superhero! She's so strong!"
"Have you heard that she can fly?"
"Do you think she can go invisible?"
"I reckon she's kinda cute"
"Hey, do you want your eyes burnt out too?"
"No! I'd never do anything like what he did, I just think she's beautiful, that's all."

Soon afterwards the police and ambulance arrived. The man was later arrested for battery and attempted rape. But as for the Star, well, she avoided that part of town going forward.

The following morning, Hannah was in her pajamas, eating cereal for breakfast. Her dad was across her at the table, reading the newspaper.
"Can you believe that the star from down under was in Brisbane last night?" he grumbled.
"No, dad" replied Hannah innocently.
"Hm - this security camera photo - somehow her face looks familiar" he said, before looking up again at his daughter "Like I've seen her before somewhere ... but where?"
"Well, um, I hope you find her" replied Hannah with a smile, nervously hoping he wouldn't make the connection, "Maybe see if you can interview some of the people in Brisbane?"
"Good idea" he said, tossing his paper messily on the table "I should go to work. Make sure you do all your chores before you go to study."
"Yes, daddy" she said sweetly, standing up and giving him a hug.
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by Chellizard on November 11th 2017, 9:09 pm

You need to edit your application and include these changes into it.

As for her flight speed, if she can fly that fast, it is a power in itself. Flight is a power on it's own, flying speed is another.

However, if you plan on using flying speed for just fast travel in order to explain where she is in the world and how she got there, that's appropriate as an RP Mechanic.

Otherwise, I see no big issue with this. Just make sure you edit your additions into the app so that we can review it in whole and not those minute pieces.

Thanks!

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 11th 2017, 9:33 pm

To be clear, because she can't practically use the power, I don't think it should be an RP mechanic. I'll edit it in just a moment.

Edit: edited. Smile
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by Chellizard on November 14th 2017, 3:00 am

Passing through objects light can go through as well as speeding up her healing process, eg, regeneration, are two separate powers.

Gonna need additional weaknesses for that.

Your suit, gloves, and goggles also need a weakness.

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 14th 2017, 4:13 pm

I'm seriously wondering if at this point it isn't worth developing a new hero? Even when doing the RP sample I had to have her be super lucky in a lot of respects. In a "normal" RP she would have almost certainly:
1. Had her cover blown
2. Been seriously injured
3. Become sick and unable to fight
4. Had to deal with how to escape from home
5. Run out of charge before she could get home; and
6. Had the strength of her powers much reduced in the dark environment
All her powers are pretty meaningless at this point because if I add FIVE additional weaknesses on top of that, how can I meaningfully RP?

So maybe this sort of character is just not well-suited to this site and I need to think of powers that are more specific?
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by Chellizard on November 14th 2017, 4:38 pm

You need to have weaknesses per items.

And it's all up to how you write your character. Obviously in this RP sample you presented a lot of obstacles for Hannah; give her an actual thread with another RPer and I'm sure there will be other chances for her not to be so stifled. You chose to write the RP sample like that; the sample just shows staff members that you are aware of how to RP and be fair.

However, on SHRP Powers need 1 weakness while items require a weakness for the item, not the character itself.

Does that make sense?

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 14th 2017, 5:24 pm

No but I'm literally struggling to think of a situation where she wouldn't be so stifled. It does make sense in terms of balancing but I feel like the problem here is more with how I've constructed her entire app than it is with balance. In fact on most ordinary superhero quests she'd probably be even more limited. My approach in writing the app originally was:
1. Think of a power
2. Limit the power
3. Think of how she would respond to that power / limitation
The flaw of this is that I've built many of the weaknesses into her powers and story themselves. It sounds like you want them explicated individually. Other approved weaknesses are even things that are properties of her powers. So to take a relatively tame example, I had Hannah leave a trail of light in the sky precisely so that she couldn't normally fly unless she was disguised or desperate, because otherwise it would trigger her secret identity weakness. Since she doesn't normally have a costume or anything, when I wrote the app, I considered that one of the several significant weaknesses of her power. I also considered how she might respond: travelling in the wake of aircraft, for example. But adding on additional weaknesses now really screws with her app because I have to go through the reverse process. She's labelled a "star" in the press, so when I added in the weakness of her needing to charge, that sort of makes her a daytime-only hero. But then how does that interact with her college studies? She'd barely have time for heroism anyway. Now imagine that this "hero," whose powers are useless, can't be used and who barely will have a chance to use them anyway, now gets double the number of weaknesses. I'd say currently, taking her at best, she's only slightly more effective than a regular human at stopping crime - with the additional weaknesses she'd definitely be considerably less.

I'll do my best to come up with a new hero who's more like the format you expect.

Edit: the most surprising examples of this for me, just as feedback, were looking through approved character apps and noticing how many had "still human in this respect" as a weakness. It makes it very easy to comply with the limits but only if you plan the limits first. For Hannah, since I took a powers-first approach and planned her weaknesses to counter her powers, that basically meant she'd not only be unable to function well as a hero, but that you considered her too powerful anyway. As I say, it's a matter of expectation.
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by Chellizard on November 15th 2017, 1:57 am

Okay, I have no idea why you're so upset about this?

You're telling me that you gave her limitations in the RP sample?

That doesn't apply to her powers or add a weakness just because you wrote it in the RP sample.

Here at SHRP we look at this simply:

Power A needs to have Weakness B

A always goes with B.

A good example is my character Tyuki Gold. One of her main powers is super strength, and one of her main weaknesses is her allergy to grapes.

I understand that you plan on writing her in certain ways, and this may come as a shock to you, but no one said that she is too powerful.

I simply wrote, and I will quote myself, but also write it better:

You have 1 power that states she has the ability to pass through objects that light can also pass through while also stating she has increased cellular regeneration.

That is 2 powers in 1.

Aka, you need 2 weaknesses to cover those powers.

Now, you also have 3 items that I think need a weakness; EG: the suit, the gloves, and the goggles.

The gloves project your powers in different ways, the goggles let you see in infrared, and heat vision, and the suit stops your body from emitting the light which essentially negates the major weakness you have which is that Hannah lets off light when using her powers.

I understands you've listed a lot of limitations into your power descriptions as it is, and that's fine.

I just want you to add 1 singular weakness that isn't negated by other things in your app.

Another example of your weaknesses being negated is "Unwell/Illness" when you states with the power "Body of Light" that light speeds up regeneration [again using this as an example] making Hannah full of energy while also negating the need for food, sleep, or drinks.

So, you see why I am concerned.

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 15th 2017, 2:03 am

No, I kinda don't. I thought I did but that reply has confused me about something.

You're saying she's not too powerful.

But you're also saying she doesn't have enough weaknesses.

What is the purpose of a weakness other than to restrict a character's power? Because it seems to me like everything you say after that sounds like "actually she is too powerful as written".

PS Sorry if I come off as upset, I'm not really Smile Just been trying to draw my new character and I want to be sure I get the app right this time.
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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by Chellizard on November 15th 2017, 2:10 am

You have a lot of things in this application that clash with each other.

Everyone requires 1 singular weakness to 1 singular power.

When you bulk powers and weaknesses into one description, it makes things complicated.

This character is very well written, but I just need you to rewrite the powers and weaknesses section as well as add a weakness to the three items I listed.

A good weakness to attach to the suit is that when she wears it she cannot pass through things light can pass through.

A good weakness for the goggles is that anyone else could wear them, or the obvious one, it's hard to use them when there's a fire present.

And finally a good weakness for the gloves is that they are limited to X amount of uses before needing to be recharged in the charging station.

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Re: Hannah Ball

Post by HannahBall on November 15th 2017, 2:22 am

Awesome, thanks for the clarification.

The way I had written this app, all those things are ALREADY true. I'd thought it obvious that, for example, a power titled body of light would not apply to any clothing she was wearing or other things she was carrying. Among numerous other weaknesses. For example: have you ever tried putting on a suit like that unaided? Likewise with the healing powers and stuff ... like, say she gets bronchitis. What's she going to do, put a lightbulb in her lungs?

But I honestly consider it futile because then my weakness list would be enormous. Hence why I'm doing a new character app. I just feel like I've kind of already ruined this character and that if I did refactor all the powers and weaknesses, the character would change substantially enough anyway that she'd be totally different. Not to mention that if you're not seeing anything in this app that isn't negated by another part, well, obviously I need to be very careful next time. But that's OK, now that I know that I should be fine.
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