Welcome to Oz (Elaine/Red/Ryan)

Um, ok. Could this get any more weird? Probably. At this point i wouldn't put it past that crazy narrator to throw left shark in here and maybe even nyan cat or something like that. But we're getting off track now. Anyway, tin-red was called a junkyard by an angry fire hydrant and there seemed to be, as expected, a pre-defined quest they were supposed to follow. Oh bother. Who does this kind of thing? And they call Lucius a horrible person. This was just sadistic really. There was no use in actually responding to the freaky little thing, so Lucius just sighed and started walking in the direction that was specified, Daniel on the other hand seemed like he wanted to be headbutted once again by another pissed off short guy.

"Look at you, you're so cute, all grumpy. I think i like the world like this, reminds me of the time i took LSD." Daniel said as he knelt down to the midgets level, attempting to pat the little thing on the head for some reason. At this point Lucius knew something was going to happen, might as well let Daniel learn on his own not to pet pissed off short dudes.

The lion guy was kind strange, with all of the mumbling and the yowling they were doing. Then again it looked like magic, so that might have been why everything was going weird like it was, or maybe he just didn't quite understand how anything worked. He had no idea what a furry even was, maybe they were really furry or something like that. Then there came an angry person tossing bricks at people, really rude short angry people that sort annoyed Ryan really. Granted he wasn't very tall, but man was this person short...like some kind of dwarf or whatever. ”I think the short guy needs a nap.” Ryan said with a shrug, looking to Dante who seemed to be a bit off put by the short guys sudden anger for whatever reason. Maybe they didn't like their houses being on fire, because that sucked. ”Could you give us like a map marker or something….maybe a map too?” Ryan would ask, though he had a feeling he would not get one anytime soon.

Dante whined as the girl stared him down. With his shoulders hanging he slumped forward and moved past Ryan, headed down the yello23roijh. Sorry a midget just broke into my house and punched me. Apparently I'm not allowed to say, type or do anything regarding that not-stone road or it's color. Anyway, recovering form that Dante pressed on while the midget literally decided to jump onto and latch himself to Daniel's face, mauling the hell out of him most likely as he tried to rip out hair, claw out eyes and be a general pain if Daniel couldn't do anything about it. Ryan was ignored by the angry fire hydrant, but the towns people all shook their heads no, some of them commenting that they had maps in their houses but they were all burned down now.

Hopefully this show would get on the road and they could head down the road named after the primary color that mixes with blue to make green. As they followed it however they would find themselves at a crossroad. One seemed to lead to Death and destruction, what appeared to be a dark sky and dark rocks in the distance with a tower of sorts. The other was on the way to the emerald city. Seattle looked a lot different than Dante imagined, but oh well.

"U-uhm..." Dante stopped as he looked around. Now he had never seen this movie, or read the book before, but he was fairly certain that whatever they were doing was leading to certain danger. "W-where do we go?" he said as he turned his back. Magically there was as sign that appeared and the two wooden markers appeared, though the one pointing to the deviating trail was scratched out and had a piece of cardboard on it, that said "Free gunz and puppies" written sloppily in red paint. Or what they hoped was red paint.

"P-please tell me we're not going for free guns and puppies." He whimpered as cackles and screeches were heard in the background. Feathered, avian wings sprawled out as they circled the tower. What kind of bird was big enough to have those wings, and such long legs? "I-it's obviously a trap." He said as the cardboard poster fell off the wood piece and lay there. Dante began walking towards the Emerald city, but he was too scared to go alone...so regardless of where the group with he was going with them. One way or another.

Elaine hopped along the road with her companion within a basket on her arm. "I know people can't see you, but I wonder if they can see the basket? Aren't we supposed to be singing something?"

"There is no basket." The little corgi in the basket  spoke truth. "You just look around for stuff and I'll sing the songs."

"Good. Cause if we were just walking down this road with all these other idiots, people would assume I associate with them. Now start singing."

"So, I looked into your eyes. And saw the reflection. Of the coward you and I both hate very much. And I grabbed the knife. And let the blood out of your throat. And I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull. And I got to thinking. If I don't go to Hell when I die, I might go to Heaven. If I don't go to Hell when I die, I might go to Heaven-"

"Hold, up that song sounds great, and I'm going to let you finish, but this is one of the greatest signs of all time." A sign bellowing a truth of both guns and puppies, both for the price of free called out to Elaine. "I wonder if Beyonce wrote it?" The calls of 'trap' and other warnings floated into the sky to dance with clouds. Elaine wanted a puppy. "I wonder if any of them talk, or you know- sing!"

Elaine trailed off of the path to go investigate the puppies and guns and also the freedom the sign alluded too. A sign with the words 'puppies', 'free', and 'guns' could do no wrong. It was half the constitution, and Elaine would cling to any evil this world offered to achieve that. Like the people who signed the Constitution. "If I don't go to Hell when I die I might go the Heaven. If I don't go to Hell when I die, I might go to Heaven. Go to Heaven but probably not."

"Aruugg! What the fuck!?" Daniel screamed as the midget jumped on his face and started literally clawing at him. The midget managed to draw blood before Daniel thought to teleport, which he did, appearing next to tin-man Lucius who addressed the male without even looking.

"That's the forth time that has happened, stop getting in peoples faces, for any reason." Lucius said plainly as Daniel rubbed his wounds with a sigh.

"Well, i really thought he was kinda cute...." Daniel said as the two walked ahead of the rest of the group. Eventually they got to a crossroads, which was interesting considering the sign. An obvious trap sure, but Lucius didn't exactly come here to go have drinks in the emerald city or whatever. No, he came here to confront whoever was doing this, and honestly the path of death and destruction offering free puppies and firearms seemed like the route that likely had the person responsible at the other end of it. So, without saying anything Lucius continued down the path toward likely death, that or guns and puppies.

Ryan sort of did not even notice poor Daniel's plight, he was busy sort of staring at the ground really. Maybe they could finally travel down the piss colored road, since the real name couldn't be said due to some sort of stipulation that went over his tiny little brain. I wonder if Skeletors here...wait that's He-Man. Ryan thought to himself while whatever went on around him, flicking the brim of his scraggly hat. ”Well obviously we got to the fortress of doom. Have you not seen any movie ever?” Ryan asked sort of snapping out of his whatever. ”Wow, I sound like that one girl with the weird pink outfit…..V..something. Wait...there's free puppies? I mean I don't know what a gunz is but it sounds cool too.” Well Ryan knew where he was going and it had puppies.

Well they totally took the bait and there was a group of people headed towards the free puppies and guns. Unfortunately at the end of the path was nothing more than a tower made of black wood with cobblestone stairways and other crap that looked like something out of Minecraft. Like it was literal blocks and everything. The cowardly Lion knockoff popped forward and mewed as his tail twitched and his ears shifted to the sides as he realized the horrific copywrite.

 "W-What? N-no. This is so wrong. H.R Giger is gonna sue somebody!" Dante screamed. At that moment in time there was a slight shift in the fabric of reality and in the universe as somewhere out there, there was an entire race of 87 people that all sneezed in unison. They all fell silent and looked about, confused and slightly scared by the phenomena. But back to the task at hand was totally a cowardly lion that was staring at a tower as the rest of the party seemed to advance forth. Dante found himself falling behind but not for long as they reached the front gate and flying monkey after flying monkey was present, all of them flying towards our protagonists (and Elaine) with fierce claws and hooting and hollering. Dante let out a stereotypical cat hissing noise and rawr before dropping to the ground and scurrying about on all fours, taking off at one of the monkey's and tackling it.

 "Oh shoot. You're early. Uhm. Okay beat up those guys before you come up and kick my ass. Thanks!" The light pitched voice called down before disappearing back into the window. Apparently they seemed to know how this story was going to end? Oh well, for now they just had about 12 flying monkies to deal with.

"If I don't go to Hell when I die, I might go to Heaven!" Elaine skipped as she continued down the mustard block street in unison with herself. And maybe other people, who the Hell knows or cares. "If I don't go to Hell when I die, I might go the Heaven." The lack of puppies surprised Elaine. And no guns confused her. "The sign clearly said Guns and Puppies."

"It did in fact say that."

"And there's no guns or puppies."

"That is in fact true."

"That sign has an illogical narrative. And is dumb."

"You haven't even noticed two flying monkeys are carrying you have you?"

Cogi don't lie. Bitches don't fly. You can't mess with Elaine, so don't even try.

Elaine tossed a kick towards the monkey on her left straight out of Oz. The flying simian took it straight to the face from a crazy motherfucker named Elaine. Once she got called off, her legs were like a sawed off; she through a sick kick, and monkey bodies got hauled off.

The next few second of free fall took Elaine precariously close to hitting the ground from quite a high fall. Flying monkeys looked fairly useful for flying, prompting Elaine to make a shadow jump onto the back of one of the winged freaks. She leaped from his back, delivered the roundhouse that made a rectangular house regulation for giant basketball, then shadow jumped back onto another monkey. Her antics continued flying through monkeys and delivering justice, until she made an ill advised jump, landing her inside of the tower itself. "Spirit Corgi, I don't think we're outside anymore."

Well, wasn't this interesting. Daniel and Lucius continued to walk until finally they reached the front gate. What they found was rather odd, monkeys. Lucius hadn't seen the movie (and neither has his author.), so he had no idea if this made any sense as far as the motifs went, though he did know it made no logical sense. Though, at least they got a look at who was apparently doing this, that or some manner of high level mook. Lucius just raised his hand and put a red energy barrier around him and Daniel, which the monkeys rammed against and burnt themselves on.

"Monkeys? I'm beginning to not take whoever is doing this seriously." Daniel noted as he watched them from the safety of the barrier.

"Maybe that's what they want you to do. Get you to take your guard down before throwing something far more powerful at you." Lucius said. It was a possibility really. Lucius had met many people with such tactics. Now, Lucius could always just keep the barrier up and walk forward, ignoring them. But then again that was just lazy. So, charging up a little he turned the barriers energy into a powerful but faint looking pulse that shot through the air over the area. He made sure to will his allies to be unaffected, but if the monkeys didn't have some heavy superhuman durability they were getting corroded to death.

Suddenly there were flying monkeys, well that made all of this really awkward. ”Wow....I have no words for this.” Ryan muttered to himself, a little confused by the whole flying monkeys thing, but then again he had seen worse before. Someone had said something about kicking their butt, yet he did not quite pay any attention to them. Well then tin man would shoot their tin man stuff at them, and so Ryan had to jump into the fray with a few spheres of water at the ones not taken down by Lucius. Once it hit, the water would rapidly freeze around the wings and sort of force them to crash to the ground. Not exactly an effective tactic but then again no one said he was effective. ”Wait...why are we kicking their ass again?” He then asked, realizing what had been said.

Well the Monkey's weren't hard to deal with it would appear, because some crazy asian bitch just made one do a barrel roll through the air and out of "Oz". The kick was so powerful that when it connected it sent the monkey out of the barrier and once it pierced the barrier it was revealed to be nothing less than some small orphaned boy named Johnny. You see, within that kick alone Elaine had not only sent him out of the barrier, but she enlightened him. By kicking that child, she imbued him with her enlightenment, and ignoring how oddly sexual Pat is likely to take that, it should be stated that "enlightenment" is synonymous with "serious brain damage". In fact he very well have just become a Were-Elaine. On the next full moon this kid's turning full blown Asian cowboy and kicking the shit out of people while talking to a microsoft sam icon that floats in front of him all day.

Meanwhile the only one whom seemed to make it inside was Elaine, and that's because she made an Ill advised jump. Not sure who Ill is but they are an idiot, that jump was dangerous! The inside was rather plain, actually...cancel that. The inside was beautiful, it had perfectly sanded and stained wooden furniture that seemed to glow a golden color with the light of an old-timey lantern that hung from the ceiling, antlers from deer and elk had little candles held within or attacked to them, radiating a little more of the room itself. The older building looked like someone's living space to be honest, there was a perfectly made purple bed with a nice book case and a decorative candle burning. Bahama breeze filled the room as a bear-skin was hung on the wall with a small dining table and couch. The only other section within was the one with their target, the kid in the witch get up. Seriously, didn't they know Halloween was over? Regardless they stood over a cauldron and were stirring slowly and steadily, almost ignoring Elaine a moment before waving a little, then likely getting decked in the face by a fist full of Elaine.

Red had successfully incinerated some of the monkey's and Ryan did what he did best as they seemed to stand outside a bit. "Oooh guests. Oh wait, I'll let your friends in...and the furry." The young light voice added in with a little sing-song effect as they rushed to a rope and pulled on it, causing the door three flights down to open. After everyone arrived the kid sat down and continued to stir the cauldron while chanting a little, or at least it looked like chanting. Dante stayed a little behind and looked curiously at the surroundings. Was this an RPG emulation thing? Because if so Dante was totally gonna steal all of his shit.

Elaine got in the tower first because she was clearly the best person. Across the room sat a number of things witches always loved, but Elaine grew more interested in the bear skin hanging on the wall. "That's a big ass corgi."

"Corgis are just small bears."

"What?" Elaine looked down to her furry companion. "Shut the fuck up. They are not!" Now Elaine needed to get to the bottom of this and the only way to investigate would involve messing everything up. First, that stupid cauldron got in her way, so Elaine tried to push it over. Metal things heating liquids over fire get hot. After burning herself, Elaine decided not to shove the cauldron over. Her next course of action came from trying to tear down the bear skin from the wall. "I bet there's a little guy behind here pretending to be the big headed guy from Power Rangers who for some reason showed in Wizard Of Oz."

"Good idea. However, the big head guy doesn't live in the witches castle. Second, just shut up. Third, I don't think the witch is happy you tried messing up her place-"

"Manifest destiny!"

"She doesn't look like she cares about-"

"Manifest! Destiny!" And Elaine ripped down the bear skin to investigate the giant corgi, or the miniature bear corgi of immense proportions.

After the whole monkey attack and incineration thing Lucius and Daniel were dropped in through some manner of door, but of course Lucius just landed and Daniel ported down to avoid the whole pain thing. But besides that they now faced some witch looking person, the one from the video of the president. And of course he was stirring a cauldron, and chanting. He took this whole gimmick very seriously it seemed.

"You guys are sticking to this theme more tightly then civil war reenactors." Daniel said as he looked around. Did superhuman beings really have to come up with things like this? Next thing you know a gang of Disney characters were going to start ruling New York.

"Ok kid, enough games. I need to know what's going on here, and why you attacked the president." Lucius said, getting to the point. This place was obviously just covered in an illusion, but even if it was just temporary it needed to stop. Not to mention he needed to know about this kid and how he just walked into the White House like he owned the place.